How to ride bikes and make friends
The people I want to ride with the most aren’t the ones with the flashest bikes or newest kit or steeziest tricks. They’re not going viral or the fastest. My favourite people to ride with are the ones who show up.
The ones who show up for the ride for themselves, and for me. Most of my riding pals are gals I’ve met out on the trails at a race, on a group ride or whose path crossed with mine on the hill, sessioning (or just eyeballing) a feature.
Meeting people on the trails is easy. I (mostly) love saying g’day. But making connections beyond that isn’t easy and getting rides out of a group chat can be really hard. So for what it’s worth, I’ve whipped up some tips that might help you make friends out there.
Show up. If you’ve been invited, joined the group on social media or seen a call out for a group ride – just get out there! Be there at the time and place named (or as close to the time as you can be if you are clock-challenged like me). If you’re a shy gal heading out for a ride with new people, that might be the hardest part done. Once you’re out pedalling, you might find you forget all about your nerves! And if you can’t make this ride, be proactive about the joining next one. After a certain amount of invites and/or time have passed, people start to think you don’t want to ride with them (possibly correctly, see point 5). But if you want to make connections, you have to be there to make it work.
Meet other riders where they are, and let them meet you where you are. Ride at your level, but be open to others’ levels too. Don’t feel put off if you think you’re ‘not good enough’ (we don’t know her). ‘One day’? ‘Not yet?’ Friend, it is riding a bike. If other riders judge you or leave you in the dust, I think skip straight to point 5. But maybe trying to keep up with faster riders will help improve your speed. Or, if you’re a speedy Gonzalez getting out for a ride with somebody who doesn’t go so quick, maybe slowing down will give you time to work on trail skills or appreciate stuff you usually whizz by.
If they want a coach, they’ll book one. If it’s a social ride, you don’t have to be a coach or expect free coaching from them. Ask for or give guidance or tips for sure, and normalise not knowing how to do stuff! No gatekeeping here, and I promise if you’re honest about where you’re at, nobody will think you suck. And, if there is enough common ground with what you want to learn – book a group session. It’s cost-effective and it can be way more fun to be trying new stuff with a coach in a group setting. Bonus: you now have buddies to goof around with practising skills.
Have fun! If it’s a social ride, why put pressure on it? Enjoy the scenery, chatting to a new friend or trying stuff you might not ride otherwise.
Be prepared to throw some back a la Rex Hunt. Just because you do the same hobby doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy doing it with everybody else who does. In a Barbie-tinged era where we all feel like we need to like and be liked by everybody, that can be a hard one to learn, and even harder to feel like it doesn’t mean anything about you or them beyond them just not being your cuppa tea. But not everybody is going to be a connection and that’s okay.
Ride buddies are just that – buddies to ride with. Fun and joy shared is fun and joy doubled so I hope this helps you get out on that group ride, ask that other rider you always see at the local if they want to go for a spin, or just show up next time you’re second-guessing that invite!